@pushtheboundaries

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[Tadashi stowed his scooter and helmet a few blocks back, hidden in a small alcove behind a dumpster and some strategically placed garbage. They won't smell all that great by the time he retrieves it, but to avoid the attention he'd draw if tried to bring them with him? It's worth the trade off.

Even so, he sticks out like a sore thumb in this part of town, moving quickly past boarded up doorways and flickering neon, stopping only briefly to question a few women lingering by a streetlight ("Why don't you keep us company instead?") before awkwardly skirting around and away from them. The baseball cap pulled down low on his head does nothing to help him blend in, not when everything else about him screams "I don't belong here". His clothes, his posture, the alert, wary expression on his face ("Who the hell are you lookin' at, pretty boy?"). Hiro's the one who was always comfortable roaming these back alleys between shady looking bars and even shadier looking clubs ("I ain't talking unless you're buying."), and while Tadashi isn't afraid, he's far from comfortable.

He's not sure where he's going, or, more importantly, what he actually intends to do if he finds who he's looking for. Callaghan wouldn't leave San Fransokyo while Krei's still around, but he has no leads, and Callaghan made his stance on things pretty clear the last time they spoke... or he'd tried to, anyway. He didn't want to go back, didn't want redemption, but Tadashi couldn't really believe that. Not when he could see the hesitation in his former professor's shoulders and the confusion on his face, hear the emotion in his voice and see the tears that had threatened to fall...

He should leave it alone. How could he even trust Callaghan? He couldn't, not after what the older man tried to do to Hiro and his friends. He should focus on the blessing that is his second chance at life, his second chance to be there for his brother and do the world-changing work he's always wanted to do... but letting things end like that just doesn't sit right with him. He doesn't need to trust to hope. To know that things can be better. To know that more terrible outcomes can be avoided. Someone has to reach out, try to find the Good Man hidden behind the mask and bring him back.

Someone has to help.

So he continues on, keeping his inquiries as vague as possible and directed at those who don't seem immediately homicidal. Older man ("What do I look like, the Grampa police?"), dark coat, seen anyone like that? Maybe a mask...?

("Fuckin' freak.")]

Comments

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[He's definitely made some progress where that's concerned. Tadashi's not the helpless nerd that most people might peg him as, but without Callaghan's intervention tonight? He would've been mince meat.]

I just... [Struggling with his words for a moment. No matter how he says this, it's going to come out sounding immature. Naive, even, but that's Tadashi, isn't it?]

I need you to understand that it's not too late. Things won't be easy either way, but they don't have to be like this.

Someone still wants to help you.

[pushtheboundaries]

[the words reach him...but possibly not in the way Tadashi expects. his fists ball, and all of the sudden the smooth ride that they've both been having jerks to a complete stop.]

'Help' me?

[it's hard to really describe the motion Callaghan makes; he's not quite walking, not quite being carried, but all of the sudden he's facing Tadashi (whose legs are very much locked in position) and getting closer and looking very /angry/.

partly frustrated, but still very /angry/.]

What do you think you can do, Tadashi?! I've a criminal record, now, multiple felonies, I've lost every sort of license or credential I've had, my options are either to turn myself back in and be transferred to a high security facility or go flat-out on the run from everything I've ever known and loved, or deal with the local devil in an attempt to mitigate some of this chaos!

[his voice grows louder as he talks, temper getting away from him, but even so he can't stop himself- nor can he stop the fact his voice is shrill by the time he gets to his point]

What in hell do you think you can do to help!?

[the microbots, too, are responding; Tadashi is held tightly, but their outer surface constantly fluctuates with spikes and points and shifting anger. he may control the mass, but the mass is responding to him even without a direct command, and it's as though someone captured fury itself and translated it in to geometric shapes and ripples]

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[The sudden stop forces Tadashi into pinwheeling again. With the microbots keeping his lower legs locked, he very nearly falls over backward before finally regaining his balance just in time to realize just how angry Callaghan is. He's just said something very wrong.

He doesn't mean to flinch away, but he does anyway. Not far, but it's still obvious enough. He's accepted that he probably shouldn't have been out here, but was he wrong to want to help in the first place? What could he do when Callaghan doesn't seem to want the help? When he can't see a way out?

... No, wanting to help can't be wrong, though it's a fair point, really. Robert's choices are extremely limited. Jail or a life on the run. Sure, jail isn't exactly an appealing option, but jail at least has a time limit. A sentence to be served and the knowledge that that sentence will eventually end. Life for the professor can't go back to how it was, but things can still get better. Mistakes have been made and they need to be paid for, but he doesn't have to make a deal with the devil to do it.

Tadashi spares the microbots a nervous glance. The way they're moving is so strangely organic, at least within the limitations of their design. How is Callaghan even controlling them like this? This kind of emotional outburst isn't even close to the kind of concentration the bots usually need to work.]

... I don't know because you won't let me! [He squares his shoulders and sets his jaw, every bit as stubborn as he's ever been in the lab.] You're still so focused on anger and hate and if you don't stop it's going to kill you!

[pushtheboundaries]

They're the only things keeping me alive!

[the truth practically rips itself from his throat, because it's such an inherent one; anger and hate and pain and rage are the only things keeping him going, and some insane part of him is terrified that if he lets any of it go?

he'll stop.

for good.

nonetheless, the admission has clearly taken a toll on him, because for a few long moments it's all he can do to breathe and try desperately to collect himself. he looks raw and haggard, for the moment not Tadashi's professor, not even this 'Yokai' persona, but a man driven to the edge who has no idea where to go from here.

his options are to fall, or to find a way to fly- and here on the rooftops with the microbots securing them over the streets, this is the closest thing he has to it]

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[That sudden admission knocks the stubborn right off of Tadashi's face, and for a moment he's just as lost as Callaghan. That raw look would hurt to see on anyone, but to see it on this man, someone who'd held such an important place in his life...

Callaghan needs more help than Tadashi can provide with just stubborn optimism. Emotional help. Psychological help. All the healthcare companions in the world won't make this better, especially not while the patient in question is unwilling to take a step back.

So Tadashi does the only thing he can think to do. His feet are still locked in place, but Callaghan is close enough for him to reach out. For a hug, maybe, if Robert would allow it? At the very least to take hold of the other man's shoulders, expression an unsteady mix of frustration and desperate hope.]

This... This isn't living.

[pushtheboundaries]

[in and out, he breathes, feeling as though he's in as many pieces as the microbots. he's let his walls slip, he's let his strength slip, and now he's paying the price for it. who knows how worse it'll be if he lets it go any further?

he can't do that. so while Tadashi's hands may connect with his shoulders, it's only a few seconds before he looks down, grimacing as he makes to pull himself together.]

Maybe not...but...it's better than the alternative.

[he's not willing to stop just yet.

microbots shift between them, rustling over to move Tadashi away- and then, down, moving him towards the street.

Robert's done carrying him. he can't take him any further, not with the microbots, and not with anything else. so he's doing the only thing that he can; getting him to a point where he can let go.]

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[He grips those shoulders harder for a moment, but in the end Tadashi has no choice but to let go, hands trailing in the air as if hoping that the microbots will reverse direction for him if he shows them that he's not finished yet.

But they don't.

He looks down at the approaching ground and then back up a Callaghan. This man who's made some terrible mistakes, but was also his mentor for so long. He wants to help, to find the way out, the compromise, and it's all just so wrong-!

Tadashi's voice is quieter when he speaks next, but he's still up high enough that the words won't be lost in the night time sounds of the city below.]

I haven't given up on you. Even if you've given up on yourself.

[pushtheboundaries]

[oh, Tadashi. if only the mask wasn't back on, in more ways than one; if only the microbots weren't responding to Callaghan's own innate stubbornness, his pride, and his desire to handle this on his own.

this is his role to play. perhaps not outright defined by the mask, but certainly shaped by it. it's a role whose script only calls for one reply to that;]

That's your mistake, not mine.

[and as soon as Tadashi's feet touch the road, the microbots are letting him go, and recoiling back up towards Callaghan]

Don't come looking for me again.

[it may be a useless order, especially with him revoking any authority over Tadashi, but he gives it nonetheless before just like that?

he's gone.]